I had the worst feeling last night. It was 10pm and I was trying to at some work done before bed time. At 8pm my son had just woke up from the longest afternoon nap. He decided to stay up with me and was playing on the table beside where I had my laptop open and was working away.
Like any job, that requires a lot of mental attention, I was trying to complete a pack for the project I had been working on. While trying to maintain some sort of attention to my son, every time he spoke to me, I ended up making a mistake. At that very moment, he decided we wanted to watch paw patrol on Foxtel. But instead of reacting with a calm acknowledgement of his request, I was frustrated and snapped at him. “Will you just give mum a second so I can do my work!” I yelled. His little heart dropped and tears begun rolling down his face. It wasn’t his fault that I made a mistake, but I snapped anyway. He didn’t understand why I was upset, he just wanted me to turn the TV on for him. That’s when I got upset at myself and walked away while his dad comforted him.
How can I be a great mum, business owner and senior manager/employee all at the same time. The truth is, I can’t be great at any of those things because my attention is divided. I decided to not finish my work. Instead I helped my husband put the kids to bed. At first I was angry at him for not being able to help watch the kids and put them to bed so I could work. But then I remembered that he was not the one that told me to take on more than I could handle.
As a mum, it seems impossible trying to balance kids and work. But I know, I would regret choosing work over my family if anything was to happen. I justify that the work I do is for my family, which is true of course, but then when I’m at home I need to remember that the kids need more from me then an income. They need my love and attention.
I love my kids, Dominic and Willow. And mum’s sorry for working too much and being short tempered when things don’t always go to plan. It’s never the kids fault. I need to learn how to balance my life better.